Mastering The Art Of Public Speaking

Public speaking is an integral part of professional life, one without which your survival in the job market is almost impossible. At the initial levels it is possible that you might not be required to speak publically or give presentations, but as you progress in your career you are required to do both. Most of us feel panicked when faced with the prospect of speaking in public and addressing a crowd. Whether one is addressing a small group of people or a large gathering, he is bound to feel some level of anxiety. However, with a few clever tips and a lot of practice, one can master the art of public speaking.

Improving Public Speaking Skills:

Speaking in front of a live audience is a scary thought for most of us but it does not have to be that way. These tried and tested pointers will not only help in improving your public speaking skills but also assist you in giving presentations during staff meetings.

Learn From The Best:

The best way to improve your public speaking skills is to learn from those who are considered great public speakers. They can be your superiors, colleagues and even famous personalities such as leaders, politicians and other icons. By keenly observing their style, you can learn a lot about what to do and what not to do when addressing a large gathering of people. Try watching the videos of famous people delivering speeches and observe their method. You do not have to exactly copy the style of one single person since the purpose is to achieve a sense of different styles of delivering a speech or addressing the audience.

Look Your Best:

It is very important to look good when you appear for public speaking or a presentation. People do and will notice what you are wearing and how you are wearing it. If you are dressed improperly or lack neatness in your overall appearance, the audience will notice and the fact that they are not criticizing your wardrobe or dress sense will serve as a blow to yourself confidence.

Know Your Material:

When you are supposed to address a public meeting or a gathering the worst mistake that you can make is not being fully appraised of the material. As a general rule, if you do not know the subject inside out you must not engage in speaking in front of an audience. The audience is bound to ask all sorts of questions at the end of the presentation or the speech and if you fail to answer even one of them you lose all your credibility.

Keep Practicing:

The best way to deliver a good speech or put up a great presentation is to keep on practicing. The more you practice the more easily you will be able to accomplish the task as you will iron out the kinks in your speech and polish it off nicely. You can practice alone, in front of the mirror or even better if you can get your family and friends to sit as the audience and ask questions. This will help you get better prepared for the question and answer session.

Stay Calm:

The most important thing is to remain calm when delivering a speech or giving a presentation. Even if you forget a sentence don’t panic. You don’t have to say the exact words and you can always substitute with something right there and them. It is important that you maintain a calm facade and do not let the crowd know that you are nervous. If you act calm and controlled, soon you will actually start feeling calm and composed.

Maintain Pace:

The pace at which you talk plays an important role in enduring your success or failure. Try not to talk too slow or too fast as the audience will lose interest in both cases. If you are talking too fast the audience will face difficulties in understanding what you are saying and if you talk too slow they will get bored and stop paying attention to what you are saying. The key is to maintain a pace at which you can keep the listeners engaged and engrossed.

Make Eye Contact:

It is pertinent to make eye contact during the presentation or speech. Looking at the back wall of the auditorium or avoiding the eye by focusing on other things fails to do the trick. When you are speaking you need to look into the eyes of the audience to engage them. If you fail to do that the audience soon feels that you are nervous and are not well prepared for the task. Make sure that you do not keep looking at one or two individuals only but try to engage the entire audience. It is also important to keep the eye contact short, but not too short and certainly not too long.

Be Concise:

Keep it short and to the point. Long presentations and speeches not only bore the audience but they also fail to make the point. When you start talking you get the attention of the audience and you have the chance to engage them right then and there. If you start blabbering and talk about things that have little of value to add to your speech, the audience loses interest. Keeping it short and concise lets them retain the information you just provided and hence is more effective.

Know Your Audience:

The most important part of speaking in public is to know your audience and then cater to their needs respectively. If you are speaking to a group of executives your tone, style and vocabulary would be different to that you use when addressing a group of interns. So, know your audience and then prepare accordingly.

What To Avoid When Speaking In Public:

There are a few things that you should avoid when speaking in public as they can be fatal mistakes. Some of these are:

Self Praise & Bragging:

Nothing offends the audience more than self praise and bragging. If you are good you will receive praise and the success of your speech or presentation will be a testament to your capabilities.

Stammering:

Nothing can be worse than stammering during the presentation or speech as it completely ruins the overall effect and ruins your confidence. So keep practicing the speech till you get it right.

Trying To Be Someone You Are Not:

This can be the worst mistake ever. If you are not good at cracking jokes do not try to do so during the presentation. Sometimes a light hearted comment helps the presentation by breaking the ice but f you make a bad tasting remark it can do irreparable damage. So just try to be yourself rather than trying to be someone that you clearly are not.

Process of Communication

Communication is defined as a process by which we assign and convey meaning in an attempt to create shared understanding. This process requires a vast repertoire of skills in intrapersonal and interpersonal processing, listening, observing, speaking, questioning, analyzing, and evaluating. Use of these processes is developmental and transfers to all areas of life: home, school, community, work, and beyond. It is through communication that collaboration and cooperation occur.

Conflict Management through Communication Skills

Conflict in a relationship is virtually inevitable. In itself, conflict isn’t a problem; how it’s handled, however, can bring people together or tear them apart. Poor communication skills, disagreements and misunderstandings can be a source of anger and distance, or a springboard to a stronger relationship and happier future. Next time you’re dealing with conflict, keep these tips on effective communication skills in mind and you can create a more positive outcome.

Here's How:

1. Stay Focused: Sometimes it’s tempting to bring up past seemingly related conflicts when dealing with current ones. Unfortunately, this often clouds the issue and makes finding mutual understanding and a solution to the current issueless likely, and makes the whole discussion more taxing and even confusing. Try not to bring up past hurts or other topics. Stay focused on the present, your feelings, understanding one another and finding a solution.

2. Listen Carefully: People often think they’re listening, but are really thinking about what they’re going to say next when the other person stops talking. Truly effective communication goes both ways. While it might be difficult, try really listening to what your partner is saying. Don’t interrupt. Don’t get defensive. Just hear them and reflect back what they’re saying so they know you’ve heard. Then you’ll understand them better and they’ll be more willing to listen to you.

3. Try To See Their Point of View: In a conflict, most of us primarily want to feel heard and understood. We talk a lot about our point of view to get the other person to see things our way. Ironically, if we all do this all the time, there’s little focus on the other person’s point of view, and nobody feels understood. Try to really see the other side, and then you can better explain yours. (If you don't 'get it', ask more questions until you do.) Others will more likely be willing to listen if they feel heard.

4. Respond to Criticism with Empathy: When someone comes at you with criticism, it’s easy to feel that they’re wrong, and get defensive. While criticism is hard to hear, and often exaggerated or colored by the other person’s emotions, it’s important to listen for the other person’s pain and respond with empathy for their feelings. Also, look for what’s true in what they’re saying; that can be valuable information for you.

5. Own What’s Yours: Realize that personal responsibility is a strength, not a weakness. Effective communication involves admitting when you’re wrong. If you both share some responsibility in a conflict (which is usually the case), look for and admit to what’s yours. It diffuses the situation, sets a good example, and shows maturity. It also often inspires the other person to respond in kind, leading you both closer to mutual understanding and a solution.

6. Use “I” Messages: Rather than saying things like, “You really messed up here,” begin statements with “I”, and make them about yourself and your feelings, like, “I feel frustrated when this happens.” It’s less accusatory, sparks less defensiveness, and helps the other person understand your point of view rather than feeling attacked.

7. Look for Compromise Instead of trying to ‘win’ the argument, look for solutions that meet everybody’s needs. Either through compromise, or a new solution that gives you both what you want most, this focus is much more effective than one person getting what they want at the other’s expense. Healthy communication involves finding a resolution that both sides can be happy with.

8. Take a Time-Out: Sometimes tempers get heated and it’s just too difficult to continue a discussion without it becoming an argument or a fight. If you feel yourself or your partner starting to get too angry to be constructive, or showing some destructive communication patterns, it’s okay to take a break from the discussion until you both cool off. Sometimes good communication means knowing when to take a break.

9. Don’t Give Up: While taking a break from the discussion is sometimes a good idea, always come back to it. If you both approach the situation with a constructive attitude, mutual respect, and a willingness to see the other’s point of view or at least find a solution, you can make progress toward the goal of a resolution to the conflict. Unless it’s time to give up on the relationship, don’t give up on communication.

10. Ask For Help If You Need It: If one or both of you has trouble staying respectful during conflict, or if you’ve tried resolving conflict with your partner on your own and the situation just doesn’t seem to be improving, you might benefit from a few sessions with a therapist. Couples counseling or family therapy can provide help with altercations and teach skills to resolve future conflict. If your partner doesn’t want to go, you can still often benefit from going alone.

Tips:

1. Remember that the goal of effective communication skills should be mutual understanding and finding a solution that pleases both parties, not ‘winning’ the argument or ‘being right’.

2. This doesn’t work in every situation, but sometimes (if you’re having a conflict in a romantic relationship) it helps to hold hands or stay physically connected as you talk. This can remind you that you still care about each other and generally support one another.

3. Keep in mind that it’s important to remain respectful of the other person, even if you don’t like their actions.

Conventional wisdom (and research) says that good communication can improve relationships, increasing intimacy, trust and support. The converse is also true: poor communication can weaken bonds, creating mistrust and even contempt! Here are some examples of negative and even destructive attitudes and communication patterns that can exacerbate conflict in a relationship. How many of these sound like something you’d do?

1. Avoiding Conflict Altogether:

Rather than discussing building frustrations in a calm, respectful manner, some people just don’t say anything to their partner until they’re ready to explode, and then blurt it out in an angry, hurtful way. This seems to be the less stressful route—avoiding an argument altogether—but usually causes more stress to both parties, as tensions rise, resentments fester, and a much bigger argument eventually results. It's much healthier to address and resolve conflict.

2. Being Defensive:

Rather than addressing a partner’s complaints with an objective eye and willingness to understand the other person’s point of view, defensive people steadfastly deny any wrongdoing and work hard to avoid looking at the possibility that they could be contributing to a problem. Denying responsibility may seem to alleviate stress in the short run, but creates long-term problems when partners don’t feel listened to and unresolved conflicts and continue to grow.

3. Over Generalizing:

When something happens that they don’t like, some blow it out of proportion by making sweeping generalizations. Avoid starting sentences with, “You always…” and “You never…”, as in, “You always come home late!” or “You never do what I want to do!” Stop and think about whether or not this is really true. Also, don’t bring up past conflicts to throw the discussion off-topic and stir up more negativity. This stands in the way of true conflict resolution, and increases the level of conflict.

4. Being Right:

It’s damaging to decide that there’s a ‘right’ way to look at things and a ‘wrong’ way to look at things, and that your way of seeing things is right. Don’t demand that your partner see things the same way, and don’t take it as a personal attack if they have a different opinion. Look for a compromise or agreeing to disagree, and remember that there’s not always a ‘right’ or a ‘wrong’, and that two points of view can both be valid.

5. "Psychoanalyzing" / Mind-Reading:

Instead of asking about their partner’s thoughts and feelings, people sometimes decide that they ‘know’ what their partners are thinking and feeling based only on faulty interpretations of their actions—and always assume it’s negative! (For example, deciding a late mate doesn’t care enough to be on time, or that a tired partner is denying sex out of passive-aggressiveness.) This creates hostility and misunderstandings.

6. Forgetting to Listen:

Some people interrupt, roll their eyes, and rehearse what they’re going to say next instead of truly listening and attempting to understand their partner. This keeps you from seeing their point of view, and keeps your partner from wanting to see yours! Don’t underestimate the importance of really listening and empathizing with the other person!

7. Playing the Blame Game:

Some people handle conflict by criticizing and blaming the other person for the situation. They see admitting any weakness on their own part as a weakening of their credibility, and avoid it at all costs, and even try to shame them for being ‘at fault’. Instead, try to view conflict as an opportunity to analyze the situation objectively, assess the needs of both parties and come up with a solution that helps you both.

8. Trying to ‘Win’ The Argument:

I love it when Dr. Phil says that if people are focused on ‘winning’ the argument, “the relationship loses”! The point of a relationship discussion should be mutual understanding and coming to an agreement or resolution that respects everyone’s needs. If you’re making a case for how wrong the other person is, discounting their feelings, and staying stuck in your point of view, your focused in the wrong direction!

9. Making Character Attacks:

Sometimes people take any negative action from a partner and blow it up into a personality flaw. (For example, if a husband leaves his socks lying around, looking it as a character flaw and label him ‘inconsiderate and lazy’, or, if a woman wants to discuss a problem with the relationship, labeling her ‘needy’, ‘controlling’ or ‘too demanding’.) This creates negative perceptions on both sides. Remember to respect the person, even if you don’t like the behavior.

10. Stonewalling:

When one partner wants to discuss troubling issues in the relationship, sometimes people defensively stonewall, or refuse to talk or listen to their partner. This shows disrespect and, in certain situations, even contempt, while at the same time letting the underlying conflict grow. Stonewalling solves nothing, but creates hard feelings and damages relationships. It’s much better to listen and discuss things in a respectful manner.

Importance of Communication Skills

We are in the middle of the Third Revolution of Human History. the first was the "Agricultural Revolution", which changed the way the humans lived. Then came the "Industrial Revolution", which once again changed everything around humans.

• the way they lived,
• the way they moved,
• the way they traded
• the way they produced

Invention of Wheel followed by the electricity empowered humans to be much more dynamic and enhanced his productivity to a great extent.

Now we are experiencing the Third revolution of the Human History. This is the Communication Revolution". Once again everything is changing. Since last few years none of us has written a letter by hand, put in an envelope, pasted a Postage Stamp and put it in a Letter Box or a Post Office Box.

We either send an eMail or simply talk on phone to either exchange greetings and niceties or to accomplish a job. The way we banked, the way we purchased our travel tickets, the way we conducted our transactions, the way we purchased our needs have all changed or is changing.

Over next few years, we will have effectively covered the majority of the population completely integrated in to this revolutionary phenomenon. We can call this "Information and Communication Revolution".

• This revolution has further empowered us by extending our reach and enhance our productivity;
• Information is now amply and easily accessible;
• The world is becoming border-less;
• The cultures are aggressively merging in to each other;
• The communication techniques are making exchange of information easy and affordable;
• The business processes are being revolutionized;
• The distance are being eliminated;
• and so much more...................

I have started this BLOG to discuss the way we shall together face this revolution. How best we can prepare ourselves to meet the challenges this revolution is presenting on short-term and long-term basis.

• What are the strong areas this revolution offers to enhance our capabilities?
• What are the areas to be watched to ensure that we do not compromise our originality, human cahracter and values
• Which processes can be improved with the help of the technology, to make us more efficient?
• How can we contribute to the bonding of the communities and societies?
• How can we prepare our next generation to get the best out of this huge change that they are going to face?

We shall exchange our thoughts and ideas related to the Communication revolution on this Blog and work together to make this world a better place to live.

Nazir Ahmed Vaid